Hold Me Mrs Hughes, I'm Going To Faint
by Queen Regent Of The North
Summary: Mr Carson has a bad day...


**This is dedicated to Tammy333, who's reviews cheered me up. Thank you! For those of you awaiting the next chapter of Once Upon A Holy Downton You're Carson, there will be a bit of a delay because my co-writer is on holiday and my phone has died and is in for repairs. We will continue asap.**

**#Edited due to pathetic mistakes that spell check and I missed **

"Mr Carson are you quite all right?" Elsie Hughes asked, looking up in alarm as he strode into her sitting room with a face like a thunder-cloud.

"No." he stated shortly "I am most certainly not all right"

She hurried to her feet and grabbed his arm so she could usher him to a chair. Ever since their moment on the beach they'd become a lot more familiar with one another, with risqué comments and sly touches to let one another know that they were there for one another.

"I don't need to sit down" he protested "I'm just angry"

"What happened?" she asked sympathetically, tilting her head back so she could look him in the eyes

"That idiot Moseley went and dropped a silver platter. In front of the Dowager countess!" He exclaimed, shrugging her hand off his arm and starting to pace her sitting room

"Good heavens." She answered in a shocked tone. Personally she thought he was being a bit melodramatic but she knew that dropping something in front of the family was very high on his list of no no's. "I do hope it was an empty platter" she added, wondering if this was why he'd come to her.

"Yes, thankfully it was empty. He did manage to bash it into a door frame and scratch it up. I'll have to send it to London on the early morning train if I want it back before Mr Napier's visit next week." He sighed "Why did you ever convince me to hire the blasted man?"

"Well, in my defense I never knew he could be so clumsy. But he is a kind man, who works very hard." she said quietly. Carson snorted in disbelief

"Have they all gone up to bed?" she asked, barely stifling a yawn herself.

"They have, and I think we best follow soon." he answered rolling his shoulders back making her wince when she heard the clicks. Just then there was a knock on her door and one of her maids stuck her head round the door

"Deirdre? Why aren't you in bed? We have a busy day tomorrow" Mr Carson barked, a little annoyed at being interrupted.

"I know Mr Carson sir, but Mrs Hughes asked me to make sure the fires were done properly since the new kitchen maid only started today." The timid girl answered

"Yes and?" he questioned.

"Well I went up to Lady Anstuther's room and well..."

"Well?"

"There was um...moaning coming from the room." The girl stuttered out. Mr Carson's eyes grew wide in disbelief. Surely she hadn't tried something under Downton's roof?

"and then?" Asked Mrs Hughes, sensing there was more to the story

"Well, while I was trying to decide what to do his Lordship walked past and he heard. He asked me to come and fetch you seeing as all the upstairs men are accounted for." The girl finished in a rush, turning bright red. Mr Carson gaped at her, the implications of what this girl was saying hitting home

"Thank you Deirdre." Mrs Hughes said kindly "Go to bed and Mr Carson and I will deal with his Lordship."

The girl nodded and quickly withdrew, very relieved that she didn't have to be a part of this.

"Come on then" Mrs Hughes said as she marched out the door, leaving a very bewildered Carson to follow in her wake. Once they got to the upstairs rooms they met a very relieved Lord Grantham who was waiting anxiously outside the offensive room.

"Ah Carson, thank heavens. I have my suspicions about who's in there with her so I thought it would be best if you came to sort this out." The poor man said before noticing the Housekeeper "and Mrs Hughes too. Good good, it'll be better with you here"

"They were very friendly after dinner milord" Carson muttered darkly. At this point Mrs Hughes was completely in the dark. Who on earth was very friendly with Lady Anstuther at dinner and why had Mr Carson not mentioned this instead of going on about a silver platter?

"Shall we Mrs Hughes?" Carson said gesturing to the door she blinked up at him in surprise. Did he really want her to just barge into a Countess's room? Well, she supposed it would be one way to get answers to her questions. Lord Grantham cleared his throat, clearly waiting for her to do something. She mentally shook her head and walked determinedly up to the door, grasped the handle firmly and pushed her way inside with Mr Carson and His Lordship hot on her heels.

The sight which greeted her was one she tried desperately to forget over the next few weeks but try as she might it was etched into her brain.

Jimmy (or James) Kent was in bed with Lady Anstuther, neither of them wearing a stitch of clothing and both of them looking highly disheveled.

"Good god in heaven!" Exclaimed Lord Grantham once he saw what was going on "what is the meaning of this?"

Jimmy immediately jumped from the bed, revealing everything that had been hidden before by a thin sheet. Mrs Hughes whirled round to face the wall and to her surprise both His Lordship and Mr Carson did the same. She glanced up at her best friend to see him looking down right furious, as though he may explode at any moment. The door slammed shut and she tentatively turned around to find Lady Anstruther wrapped up in a dressing gown looking highly embarrassed.

"Mr Carson, you better go and deal with Jimmy." she said quietly and the Butler marched out the door without a glance towards any of them. Lord Grantham peeked over his shoulder and turned around fully when he realized Lady Anstuther was suitably concealed

"He won't be fired will he?" She asked imperiously. This seemed to cause Lord Grantham's temper to erupt and maids swore they could hear him yelling all the way in the attics

"I CAN NOT BELIEVE YOU WOULD ENGAGE IN A SORDID AFFAIR UNDER MY ROOF! WITH MY FOOTMAN! AFTER ALL THE KINDNESS WE HAVE SHOWN YOU!" He shouted, making both Mrs Hughes and Lady Anstruther wince "I WILL NOT ASK YOU TO LEAVE AT ONCE BUT I EXPECT YOU TO HAVE LEFT BEFORE BREAKFAST IN THE MORNING!"

"If that is what you wish, certainly"she answered calmly as if they were discussing the weather. Lord Grantham nodded and made to leave although he paused at the doorway to add  
>"And YES. He will be fired"<p>

Mrs Hughes glanced at the woman standing there haughtily before quickly scurrying after him.

"Thank you Mrs Hughes" Lord Grantham said as she exited the room behind him "please make sure Carson doesn't murder James. I don't feel like a trip down to the police station tonight"

"Of course sir. Goodnight" she answered quietly before leaving down the back staircase. SHe arrived downstairs to find the majority of the staff standing in the servants hall, wide-eyed and clad in various shawls and dressing gowns.

"Where is Mr Carson?" she asked tiredly before rubbing a hand over her eyes. She wanted to go to bed and forget about this entire evening.

"Well, Jimmy went up the stairs, Mr Carson went up the stairs, doors slammed, Mr Carson shouted, Jimmy shouted and I think if you listen carefully you'll hear them coming down the stairs now" Mrs Patmore said and sure enough with in a few moments Mr Carson strode into the room dragging Jimmy by his ear and practically threw him into a chair.

"What in blazes did you think you were doing?!" he demanded while the rest of the staff looked on. Mrs Hughes got ready to Shepard them all out the room but Mr Carson held up a hand to stop her

"I dunno what you're going on about" Jimmy said sulkily "it's not as if I forced her"

Mr Carson gaped at him like a goldfish and Mrs Hughes swore he was about to have a heart attack

"It is forbidden to have any sort of relationship in this house without permission James, not to mention with a countess" Mrs Hughes informed him icily

"She asked for it" Jimmy defended himself, slumping in his chair and folding his arms over his chest

"I don't believe it" Mr Carson muttered "you deny doing anything wrong?"

"Well, now that I think about it, it was wrong of me not to lock the door." Jimmy said saucily "Although, it is considered rude to barge into someone's room without knocking." He stared pointedly at Mrs Hughes as he said this and she coolly met his gaze.

"Enough of this" Mr Carson said "James, you are to have removed all your possessions and yourself from this house before breakfast tomorrow morning. I never want to see your face at Downton again. "

"But Mr Carson-" Jimmy started to say but was cut off  
>"ENOUGH!" he bellowed "I don't want to hear another word from you. Everyone go to bed at once. We will speak no more of this."<p>

Jimmy shot out of his chair and strode out of the room, slowly followed by the rest of the staff.

"Oh Mrs Hughes, I forgot to tell you, we can't serve raspberry tart tomorrow. The farmer sent up a note saying that he'd been hit quite heavily by hail and didn't have enough."

"Very well" Mrs Hughes sighed "we'll have to serve something else. We'll discuss it in the morning."

"We can't serve anything else. It won't go with the wine that's been ordered" protested Mr Carson staring down at the two woman in disbelief

"Well it'll have to Mr Carson, unless you can produce raspberries out of your hat." Mrs Hughes sighed, massaging her temples "as I said, we'll discuss it in the morning."

"Very well" he huffed in return making Mrs Patmore chuckle quietly

"Poor man, you've had a really horrible night haven't you?" she said sympathetically "why don't you go to bed?"

"I wouldn't be able to sleep" he said quietly "I think I'll have a cup of tea and a few of your chocolate biscuits before doing some paperwork"

Mrs Patmore edged away slightly

"Well, I'll gladly make you the tea but they finished the chocolate biscuits at tea this afternoon." she explained gently

"You mean there is no chocolate biscuits?" Mr Carson asked incredulously

"I'm afraid not" Mrs Patmore confirmed. He blinked at her before quietly muttering

"Hold me Mrs Hughes. I'm going to faint."

**Poor man. He really needed those biscuits. However he has agreed that reviews will serve just as well.**


End file.
